JLPT N4・N5 Grammar – The difference between “〜に会う/合う” and “〜と会う/合う”
Table of Contents
1. The difference between “〜に会う” and “〜と会あう”
2. (人) に／と会あう
3. ＡはＢ (もの) に合あう
4. Summary
5. Similar Articles
6. Comments
Q: “I don’t understand the difference between “友達に会う” and “友達と会う.” Do they mean the same thing?”
A: Both “友達に会う” and “友達と会う” can be used, but there is a slight difference in how the relationship with the other person is viewed.
The verb “合う”, which is also pronounced au like “会う”, can also be used with both “に” and “と”.
Let’s take a closer look at the differences.
(人) に／と会う (JLPT N5)
Both “に” and “と” can be used with “会う”.
Basically, the difference is:
• 人に会う
→ The person is presented as the target of the action “会う”.
• 人と会う
→ It emphasizes the mutual relationship of two people meeting each other.
[Examples]
わたしははなこさんに会います。
I will meet Hanako.
⇒ “はなこさん” is the person whom “わたし” meets.
This pattern is often used when indicating the person you meet, as in “誰に会いますか？” (“Who will you meet?”).
わたしははなこさんと会います。
I will meet with Hanako.
⇒ This expression focuses on the mutual relationship between “わたし” and “はなこさん” — the two people are meeting each other.
In particular, “と” is often used naturally when you have arranged to meet someone.
When you happen to see or run into someone by chance, “に” is commonly used.
[Example]
道でぐうぜんまりさんに会いました。
I ran into Mari on the street.
⇒ In this case, it does not mean that you had planned to meet Mari.
It means that you happened to encounter Mari on the street, so “に” sounds natural.
In addition to “会う”, both “に” and “と” can also be used with verbs such as “話す” and “相談する”.
However, the meaning or nuance changes slightly.
[Examples]
友達に話しました。
I talked to my friend.
⇒ “友達” is presented as the person you spoke to or told something to.
友達と話しました。
I talked with my friend.
⇒ This means that you had a conversation with your friend, so there is a stronger sense that both people participated in the conversation.
留学について両親に相談しました。
I consulted my parents about studying abroad.
⇒ This means that you asked your parents for their opinions or advice.
留学について両親と相談しました。
I discussed studying abroad with my parents.
⇒ This means that you discussed the matter together with your parents.
In this way, it may be easier to understand the difference as:
“に” = the person or target of an action
“と” = an action carried out together with another person
AはBに合う／AとBは合う (JLPT N4)
Both “に” and “と” can also be used with “合う”. However, the way they work is slightly different from “会う”.
[AはBに合う]
The particle “に” in “Bに合う” indicates the target or standard that something matches, suits, or goes well with.
[Example]
この料理はビールに合います。
This dish goes well with beer.
⇒ This means that the dish is well suited to being enjoyed with beer—in other words, they are a good match.
“に合う” can be used not only for food and drinks, but also for clothing, interior design, colors, music, and other things. “と合う” can also be used with words related to personal relationships, colors, and music.
However, when talking about compatibility between people, “と” is used because the relationship is mutual.
[Examples]
このピアスは青いドレスによく合っています。
These earrings go well with the blue dress.
このジャズはこのレストランの雰囲気に合っています。
This jazz suits the atmosphere of the restaurant.
In this way, “に合う” can be used for many different things, including clothes, colors, music, food, and atmosphere.
[AはBと合う]
When “と” is used, it expresses the combination or compatibility between A and B.
[Example]
この料理はビールと合います。
This dish pairs well with beer.
⇒ In this case, neither the dish nor the beer is treated as the standard. Instead, the sentence focuses on how well the two go together as a combination.
[Examples]
このピアスは青いドレスとよく合っています。
These earrings and the blue dress go well together.
このジャズはこのレストランの雰囲気と合っています。
This jazz and the atmosphere of the restaurant go well together.
A useful way to understand the difference is:
AはBに合う
→ B is treated as the target or standard, and A suits or matches B.
AとBは合う
→ A and B go well together or are compatible.
[Use “と” when talking about compatibility between people]
When talking about how well two people’s personalities, ways of thinking, or other characteristics match, “と” is generally used.
× わたしは彼に合います。
◯ わたしは彼と合います。
I get along well with him.
⇒ This means “we are compatible” or “we are a good match.”
In other words, it means “私と彼は相性がいい”.
Compatibility between people describes the relationship between two people rather than treating one person as the standard, so “と” is the natural choice.
Summary
[人に会う]
- “に” indicates the person you meet or the target of the action, while “と” expresses a mutual action carried out together with the other person.
- When you happen to meet someone by chance, “に” is more natural.
[AはBに合う／AとBは合う]
- “に” indicates the target or standard that something matches or suits.
- “と” expresses that A and B go well together or are compatible.
- When talking about compatibility between people, “と” is used.
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